Celebrity Madness: Alec Baldwin edition

If Akon manhandling a young fan all over the stage wasn't enough celebrity madness for you, here's even more.

This time, it's a leaked audio clip of Alec Baldwin berating his 12-year-old daughter. It's terrible. And it's very funny too -- until the end when you get the sense Baldwin is threatening to physically hurt her.

Check it out here: Alec Baldwin berates, threatens his daughter

Seriously, you'd think he was verbally abusing an ex-girlfriend or his cleaning lady until he says, "You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old. Or that you're a child."

Craaaaazy. All of that said, Baldwin is one of my favorite actors and is honestly brilliant on NBC's "30 Rock." Check it out Thursdays after "The Office."

Akon LOSES IT... and it's FUNNY

Let's see if I can stop laughing long enough to type this out.

At a concert in Trinidad the other night, Akon tricked a group of young girls into thinking they could win a trip to Africa if they danced with him on stage.

Well, there was no trip to Africa. He just wanted to get dirty.

Watch this video of Akon and a likely bewildered young fan of his. I know you'll probably be scared for her safety and all, but I think it's okay to laugh.

If my baby gets cold and it needs a blanket, it's alright because I have it

I know that I should get off of YouTube and do something with my day. But video clips like this make it damn hard to lead a productive life. That's really all the introduction you need. You're welcome:

The SNL roundup

Is it just me, or was SNL hilarious last Saturday? I know I just posted an SNL clip, but here are two other must-see moments.

The first is a quick segment called "An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson." It's funny because it is probably DEAD ON. Check it out:



The second clip is of Mya Rudolph and host Shia LaBeouf sharing a moment backstage at the show. Rudolph is unhinged and hysterical. I dare you not to laugh:

Slow motion + Imogen Heap = EXCELLENT TELEVISION

If you know me, you know I was a huge fan of Fox's "The O.C." I loved it before it was a phenomenon and stood by it, against the better judgment of others, until the end. Even when the second and third seasons lost their way and started to recycle hackneyed plots, I kept the faith.

There were two things "The O.C." knew how to do extremely well: make good, dramatic use of cool music and deliver a shocking, satisfying season finale.

There was the season 1 montage of sadness set to Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," of course. And the season 3 death of Marissa Cooper (by way of a car accident caused by an angry surfer -- that's so Cal, isn't it?) set to another version of "Hallelujah." And then there was the series finale's view into the future set to yet another emotionally charged and relevant song.

But the one people remember best is the Marissa-shoots-Trey scenario that ended season 2. Set to the music of Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek," this scene was brilliant. The gunshot. The swelling music. The over-the-shoulder I-can't-believe-you-just-shot-me glance. It was guilty pleasure TV at its best.

It was also ripe for parody. Check out SNL's most recent digital short, an homage to how excellent a little slow motion and a little Imogen Heap can make a scene.

The thing about "Grindhouse"

"Grindhouse" was supposed to be huge. What bad could come from the partnering of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez for an in-your-face exercise in exploitation filmmaking? Well, apparently tons of bad -- to the tune of a sorry $11.6 mil debut.

Words like "underperformed" and even "flop" are being used to describe the film's 4th place premiere. "Blades of Glory," "Meet the Robinsons" and the Ice Cube family flick "Are We Done Yet?" comprised the top 3 spots.

So what happened? Here's what I think went wrong:

1. People didn't understand the concept. "Grindhouse" is a double-feature that pays homage to the shitty -- and I mean shitty in terms of plot and production value -- horror movies and car chase films of the 1970s. These films were bad in mostly every technical way but audiences still flocked to dirty, rundown theaters with almost-broken projectors to watch. "Grindhouse" tries to recreate the entire experience for contemporary movie audiences. Three sentences into a description of the film, I've already proven my point that maybe "Grindhouse" asks too much of mainstream movie-goers. Movie geeks and fanboys were already a lock for this movie, but they are not a big enough population to secure a strong opening weekend.

2. The previews and commercials turned people off. If you haven't seen the movie but have caught commercials for it on TV, then you've seen Rose McGowan sporting a machine gun for a leg. It's a ridiculous and, I think, polarizing image. You either saw that and said to yourself, "I am seeing this movie," or "What the f#@k -- No." Other than that machine-gun-for-a-leg image, I'm not so sure the commercials did a good job of explaining the plots of both movies. I can't imagine many female viewers sat in their living rooms saying, "Strippers, zombies, car chases and explosions? I'm there!"

Also, for some reason Robert Rodriguez's "Planet Terror" got the most airtime in commercials for "Grindhouse," which is a shame because it is the less crowd-pleasing of the two movies.* People were bombarded with images of zombies and Rose McGowan's machine gun leg, and saw very little of Tarantino's "Death Proof." Had the previews focused more on "Death Proof" -- which is surprisingly very much a celebration of strong, badass women -- more people might have checked out the film.

3. Easter weekend. I can't pinpoint a "right" time to release a film like "Grindhouse," but I'm pretty sure Easter weekend isn't it. I don't think America or the world at large was in the mood for a 3-hour-long, R-rated exploitation movie.

Personally, I liked "Grindhouse," but I can't say I would ever again sit through "Planet Terror" or the fake previews and advertisements that frame it.

Tarantino's "Death Proof," however, is chock-full of hypnotic dialogue spoken by fleshed out characters. Before anything significant even happens, you're already high on the movie's atmosphere. Every scene of the movie oozes coolness. And you don't have a pulse if you are not shouting and laughing at the final scene.

The Weinstein Co. is already considering releasing "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof" separately in response to the film's disappointing opening weekend. I say do it and make sure to market Tarantino's "Death Proof" as more of a slasher flick with an emphasis on the film's heroines. Seriously, I think women would love this movie.

* I acknowledge that "Planet Terror" is technically the more faithful to concept of grindhouse films. I mean, it's really very bad. It's bad on purpose, though. "Death Proof," on the other hand manages to be just plain good while still honoring the bad films of the grindhouse era.

Justin Timberlake wants you to know... Vol. 2

I went to see Justin Timberlake's Future Sex Love Show. It was ridiculously entertaining. Here's a rundown of my night/the show with 9 of Justin's Blatant Attempts at Appearing Dangerous (JTBAAAD) highlighted in red.

6:31 p.m. I come barreling into my friend Laura's driveway. Late as usual, but this time it's somewhat unacceptable because she was one of those freakish 'N Sync fans and who am I to stand in the way of her and Justin Timberlake? We wave goodbye to her dad and speed away.

7:05 p.m. We stand in line so she can buy butt shorts that say "SexyBack" across the keester. I marvel at how many Justin fans are downing lite beer in clear plastic cups. We're really growing up!


7:30 p.m. I make Laura wait in the concessions line with me so I can get two slices of cheese pizza and a water. Because I'm fat on the inside. We hear the crowd start to go wild and assume the show is starting. This particular concessions stand is cash only, I learn, which is frustrating when you're trying to shove a credit card in the cashier's face. Laura loans me the couple of dollars I need to purchase my feast and we're off just in time for the very end of P!nk's first song, "Cuz I Can." Thanks Laura. I owe you some money!

8:35 p.m. P!nk's show ends with her doing some Cirque du Soleil shit up in the air. She's at least 150 feet above the ground harnessed only by what looks like a long silk scarf. At this point, I'm wondering about her life insurance policy.

8:40 p.m. JTBAAAD # 1: As the roadies and stagehands tear down P!nk's set and prepare for Justin's, Nine Inch Nail's "Closer" begins to play. This song is better known for its driving bass line (which, come to think of it, probably inspired "SexyBack") and its chorus of "I want to f**k you like an animal/ I want to feel you from the inside/ I want to f**k you like an animal/ My whole existence is flawed/ You get me closer to God."

It's a well known fact that the headlining artist chooses the music that warms up the crowd before the start of his show. The concert hasn't started yet and already Justin's trying too hard to come off as dangerous. It's actually working though: moms and their teens exchange nervous glances as they begin to notice what's blaring from the speakers. Nice work, JT.

8:45 p.m. Laura goes number 1 in the men's bathroom. She's such a rebel.

8:45:30 p.m. The lights go down and the periphery of a sheer, circular curtain in the middle of the stage lights up in dark red. I start to freak out for Laura's sake, (1) because she's sitting on a men's toilet and (2) because she's missing the intro and I'm the one who told her she had plenty of time.

Time is a blur from 8:45 p.m. to about 1:30 a.m. Here is the set list with some comments along the way.

"FutureSex/LoveSounds" It's a shame that one of the better songs on the album is barely audible below the wild shrieks of the crowd. I'm excited too but damn audience, take a Xanax. Once the sheer curtain raises to reveal JT, clad in a Pee Wee Herman-style grey suit, the crowd gets even nuttier. I hear a little bit of the chorus, I think.

"Like I Love You" There is little to no break between this and the first song so the crowd is still at level 10 for this one. Especially when the backup dancers all group behind JT for the dance break.

"My Love." Justin starts this one slowly, standing in place as he sings with only an orchestral accompaniment and single spotlight on him. But then Justin's high-pitched voice orders, um, the sound guy (?) to "Drop. That. Shit. Right. Now." He's talking about the beat of the song we know from the CD version. That's JTBAAAD # 2.

"Señorita." You'd think after swearing (oooh!), he'd take a little breather from the unsavory behavior. I mean, there are parents and children in the audience! But no, before Justin takes a seat at the keyboard for "Señorita," he asks everyone in the audience to raise their glasses for a toast. Then he says something about not trying this at home and proceeds to take a shot of tequila. Ladies and gentlemen, JTBAAAD # 3.

"Sexy Ladies." Yeah, I don't remember this one.

"Until the End of Time." Don't remember this one either.

"What Goes Around..." This one I remember for a couple of reasons. A spinning, circular piece of lighting equipment descends over JT during the chorus. He's all about beating us over the head with his themes. Get it? What goes around comes around... the lighting equipment is round and moving in a circle. Yeah, you get it.

Also memorable in "What Goes Around..." is the ending, for which JT walks all over the stage pointing a handicam in his own face. Projected onto the screens are uncomfortably close close-ups of his face. And (JTBAAAD # 4!) his middle finger.

JT can say this song isn't autobiographical -- I actually believe the claims that it is about Elisha Cuthbert breaking his friend's heart -- but he better recognize that he's still riding the Britney wave, whether he likes it or not. Half of his fans think this is "Cry Me A River Part II" and he knows it.

"Chop Me Up" f/ Timbaland. Lots of cool images on the circular screens. In fact, there's one screen that says "PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED." I'm calling that JTBAAAD # 5.

At this point in the night, there is a 25-minute intermission. Timbaland basically plays a DJ set of popular songs from the past decade, most of them his own. There is an Aaliyah tribute, Nelly furtado songs and even a bit of "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. On the screen most of the time throughout Timbo's set are iconic images from recent horror movies like The Ring and The Grudge. Laura and I have no idea why.

"Rock Your Body." The screens are covered in colorful disco lights like in the video. I don't remember much else.

"Set the Mood." Everybody sits down and takes a breather while JT literally sets the mood for a few slower jams.

"Gone." Laura wets her pants because he is playing an 'N Sync song. Justin lets the crowd sing most of the words to this one.

"Take it From Here." Don't remember this one. Moving on.

"Damn Girl." Ow, ow! This one was chock-full of sexy burlesque dancers and stripper lap dances. Uh oh! You know what that means: JTBAAAD # 6.

"Summer Love." One of the most provocative moments of the concert takes place during this one. You see, when JT sings the line "Make you wanna say my name, girl," he is standing behind a female dancer who's bent over with her ass in the air. The music stops just before this line in the song for a good 5 seconds, in which JT surveys the crowd and then knocks the dancer over with a hip thrust. Parents in the audience recoil in horror. The older crowd raises their cups and screams. JTBAAAD # 7, people.

"Losing My Way." Silly use of what looks like a Baptist church's gospel choir in this one. Seriously. It's unnecessary. Oh, but he's singing about a crack addict who threw his life away. Let's call this JTBAAAD # 8.

"Cry Me a River." Pretty standard rendition of one of his older hits.

"LoveStoned." Laura and I complain that for a song whose chorus includes the line, "Those flashing lights seem to cause a glare," there are no lights flashing during this one. There are lasers, though. Lasers are cool, I guess.

"SexyBack." Who doesn't freaking love this song? But this performance of it is actually pretty anticlimactic. Considering the anticipation for this one, I'm surprised JT does not disappear for a few moments to up the ante. He doesn't even leave the stage. He just stands there, then the music sort of just starts. And on he goes.

The dancers, band, Timbaland and Justin all clump together and bow. And wave. Nobody's fooled. There is always an encore. Why do performers even pretend anymore? A few minutes later, JT is back and talking about how grateful and blessed he is. Laura is fumbling for her camera because a close-up of his face is projected on the screen.

"(Another Song) All Over Again." The song title is, I guess, appropriate for an encore. It's a good one. Slow. And then it ends!

I forgot to mention a part of the show where Justin kisses -- or appears to kiss -- a female backup dancer. It's very Britney Spears circa 2001, but I mention it because it's definitely JTBAAAD # 9.

A very fun show. Two and half hours is more than I think anyone expects JT to stay on stage, but he delivers the goods. And so does P!nk as his opening act. And so does Timbaland, for that matter.

Is JT trying very, very hard? You bet. Even so, the energy and spectacle of it all made for an amazing concert experience. Dude just needs to realize he is about as scandalous and dangerous as my mail man.

I'm just putting this out there

Tango will win New York's love on I Love New York.

I assure you I haven't searched for spoiler information. I'm just going with my gut.

MELTDOWN!

Well, it's happening. The BRITNEY SPEARS MELTDOWN seems to be in full swing. Here's a highly sexy before shot to which you can compare her shocking new look:

And now, a moment of silence for what she has become:

Why Forest Whitaker will win

This is a short article I wrote for Buzz Weekly on why I think Forest Whitaker is a shoe-in for the Best Actor Oscar. It's a little more formal than most of what I write for BTS but check it out anyway:

As the final and most anticipated awards show of the season, the Academy Awards ceremony has a knack for surprising audiences. Last year’s frontrunner for Best Picture, Brokeback Mountain, was upset by the better controversial drama, Crash. This year’s ceremony has no apparent frontrunner in the Best Picture category, but the prize for Best Actor is all but set to go to Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland.

Whitaker plays Idi Amin, the larger-than-life former dictator of Uganda. Amin was a dually charismatic and terrifying man, and Whitaker plays the character as such. He makes sure none of his scenes are wasted and that the fear Amin evoked in Ugandans during his reign of terror is palpable throughout.

Whitaker plays Amin as both ruthless and terrifying, but also jovial and reflective. Amin is plain evil in some scenes, yet in others, Whitaker hints that there may just be a method to his madness. Consider a scene in which Amin talks of his affinity for the Scottish culture; Whitaker is brilliant in the way he conveys Amin’s humor, obsessive tendencies and possible lunacy all at once.

The dark horse in the Best Actor category is veteran actor Peter O’Toole for his role in Venus. Having never won an Oscar (not even for Lawrence of Arabia), he is the emotional favorite. Leonardo DiCaprio’s work in Blood Diamond was exceptional, but he was better in The Aviator and still has a long career ahead of him. Ryan Gosling’s nomination for Half Nelson, as well as Will Smith’s for The Pursuit of Happyness, are rewards in themselves.

It would have been easy for Whitaker to play a cartoon version of Idi Amin, but he infuses his performance with enough nuances to suggest a deeper humanity, however warped. This is Whitaker’s award to lose.

A review of Norbit

This is slightly different from what I normally do on here, but I figured I'd post the short review of Norbit I wrote for Buzz Weekly. Check it out:

There is a certain type of person who goes to see a movie like Norbit, and I am almost positive that person is not reading these words right now. Eddie Murphy stumbled upon this critic-proof formula 11 years ago with the release of The Nutty Professor, a surprisingly heartfelt work of comedy with a likeable protagonist. With Norbit, the fat suits and raunchy comedy are back, but gone is the innocent sweetness audiences loved in The Nutty Professor movies.

Eddie Murphy plays the title character as a soft-spoken, awkward and insecure wreck. Norbit is married to Rasputia (Murphy in a fat suit), one of the most vile characters in recent movie history - and yes, I'm aware the new Hannibal Lecter movie opened this weekend. She is mean beyond redemption and so highly offensive that, naturally, the movie relies heavily (ha!) on her for its laugh-out-loud moments. Consider the montage of sex scenes, which showcase Rasputia taking running leaps onto Norbit and obliterating their bed.

The comedy in Norbit is lowbrow, but Murphy has become such a safe onscreen presence that it all seems less crude and racist than it actually is. Consider a scene in which Norbit's Asian father figure, Mr. Wong (also played by Murphy), tells Norbit, "I don't like black. I don't like Jew either. But black and Jew love Chinese food." These are indeed hateful words but Mr. Wong, one of Norbit's more fully realized characters, manages to turn it into a sort of compliment.

Three months after Borat, however, this all seems as lighthearted and inoffensive as can be - and a lot less funny. If one gets a kick out of fat suits, fart jokes and sight gags that feature a pug in a doggy wheelchair, Norbit is the movie to see.

Justin Timberlake wants you to know he does drugs

Justin Timberlake, who's on the cover of the current issue of Entertainment Weekly, admitted to the E.W. reporter that he was high when he got Punk'd on Ashton Kutcher's TV prank show.


When asked about getting Punk'd by Kutcher, JT volunteered the following info:

"I'll give you a little hint on that Punk'd thing. That was back in my first-album creative days. That's why I looked the way I did, if that makes any sense to you."

Like any good reporter, the E.W. guy pressed on and flat-out asked JT if he meant he was high:

"Incredibly. Yeah, that was a trippy experience. That was why I was completely glassy-eyed. As a matter of fact, I was like, okay, I got to stop doing this. I don't do that anymore!"

And with that, I refer you this pic of JT and high profile stoner and uber-producer Pharrell Williams in Miami last week:

Yeah, they're not high at all.

All this drug talk started last July when, while in Britain promoting his second solo album, JT said this:

"The drugs that I do have been done in my own private time. I've never been arrested - though that's not to say that I won't. I've done way too many drugs already. I've already inhaled and I've already - who knows? Some drugs haven't been legalized because it will ruin the other drugs, like nicotine and tobacco. Nicotine is more addictive than heroin....We all make mistakes. I'm just like everyone else - I get completely plastered, I've done my fair share of drugs and been caught places with my pants down. It's just that I make sure there are no cameras around."

I'd like to point out that in his attempt to up his edge-factor, JT only made millions of us YouTube that Punk'd clip and remember all over again that when the situation got scary (read: hilarious), he teared up and called his mom.

I'd do the same thing, but still...

The Superbowl Roundup

First things first: It was outrageously sad to see the Chicago Bears lose to the Colts, 29-17. I don't blame Rex Grossman, but much of Chicago does. Moving on.

The commercials this year were mostly just alright. Some didn't even seem Superbowl-calibur. Here are a few standouts worth mentioning:

--- I'm not quite sure how to say this, but Kevin Federline's ad for Nationwide Insurance was hilarious. The way K-Fed snapped back to reality when his boss at the fast food restaurant called out his name showed surprisingly on-point comedic timing. It's weird when he's in on the joke, but the result was one of the night's best commercials.

--- Did you catch the Budweiser commercial in which the celebratory handpound is replaced with the celebratory bitch slap? That one's bound to cause problems in bars and at frat parties nationwide. Just you wait.

--- There was a sad one about a GM assembly line robot's suicidal daydream.

--- And a Budweiser commercial where a guy wins a game of rock-paper-scissor by actually throwing a rock. Simple, but classic.


--- Dave Letterman and Oprah's super-quick promo for The Late Show was another winner mostly because of its surprise factor. Check it out (above).

--- Oh, and there was another Budweiser commercial with a lot of crabs on a beach that thought a big red Budweiser cooler was their king crab. Kind of made me want to see a Pixar movie about crabs.

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And how about that half-time show? Prince was as weird and amazing as I expected him to be. Yes, he's a strange guy but there's no denying he's massively talented... and he would probably be EXCELLENT at Guitar Hero. He rocked the f***k out! I liked how he covered a couple rock songs ("Proud Mary" and a recent Foo Fighters song) and the way his two lady dancers were flat out going crazy the entire time. The stage, shaped like his signature symbol, along with the array of pyrotechnics in his show -- the lightning, the fireworks, the flames -- made it exhilarating from end to end. In just 15 minutes, we got an unpredictable and exciting crash course in all things Prince. Plus, how cool was it that he closed with "Purple Rain" standing atop a purple-lit stage as it was raining balls?! Don't hate. You know that was badass! People are talking: Best half-time show ever?

[Note: This is a big entry for me because it was one year ago today that I posted my first item on BetterThanSteak. It was about the Superbowl and the "Code Black" episode of Grey's Anatomy that followed it.]

I didn't know people, let alone rich celebrities, really did this

This is so broke-ass, I had to post it. Check out this recent pic of Britney Spears attending a NYC fashion show wearing something she obviously plans on returning:

The yellow arrow is pointing to the tag she left on, but tried to hide. Gotta love those flash bulbs.

But seriously, Britney Spears... What are you thinking? Were you going to try and return that? I know this divorce might hit your $150 million pockets rather hard, but are you really hurting for money this bad? Were you planning on buying yourself cigarettes, Red Bull and diapers with the return money? Last time I stopped into Walgreens for toothpaste and toilet paper, your perfume still seemed to be selling. And you did sell photos of your first baby to Harper's Bazaar for millions of dollars, didn't you? And word is, the reason no one's seen your second baby is that you plan on exploiting him in the same way -- that ought to be a big cash cow for ya! So why are you pinching pennies? Or is wearing your clothes with the tag still on a "country" thing we just don't get? Like driving with your baby in your lap, or dressing like a crack whore but thinking it's okay since you have cowboy boots on -- is it something like that? Why don't you just disappear for a little while? Spend the time -- oh, I don't know -- hanging out with your sons or running on a tred mill. Seriously, you've been a successful pop star but, right now, you're a 25-year-old divorcée with two children and a fledgling career. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

The movie's rated R and so is this preview...

Read the previous entry and then check out the trailer for Knocked Up, with Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen.

This will be good...

Katherine Heigl? The two funny friends from The 40-Year-Old Virgin? Knocked Up might rock!

The movie's tagline reads: "From Judd Apatow, Director of 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin' comes a comedy about a one night stand that became something more."

Heigl plays a young entertainment journalist with a fast-rising career whose life takes a detour after a drunken one night stand with a slacker (Seth Rogen) leaves her pregnant.

I hope it's rated R like The 40-Year-Old Virgin was. It ups the ante when you know they're not afraid to [Stewie voice] go there.

Also, Knocked Up's IMDB page says Heigl took the lead roll only after Anne Hathaway dropped out. Score!

This will make your day

You might fall off your chair at around 3:18, when Ellen asks Gladys if she's ever been on televison before.

The Paris fiasco rages on

Paris Hilton filed the inevitable lawsuit today to shut down parisexposed.com, the site that's either ruining her life or advancing her career.

More importantly, I saw some footage and she does say she gets "f***ed in the butt for coke." Out loud. And clearly.

But for now, here are some pictures of her smoking drugs:

Paris Hilton hits a new low, and it's awesome

If you haven't heard by now, the contents of an old storage unit rented by Paris Hilton are being made public. After she failed to pay the storage bill, the stuff inside became public property. And after the guy who bought the lost goods realized what he had, he did what anyone would do -- called a business lawyer and negotiated a contract to distribute her belongings. They include diaries, old receipts, *home videos* and other miscellaneous goods.


The two most important things to note are that [1] a prescription for Herpes medication Valtrex was allegedly found, and [2] it was reported that one of the videos features Paris saying, "I get f***ed in the butt for coke." Paris has yet to deny any of these claims, but "I get f***ed in the butt for coke" t-shirts are already selling fast on the web.

This all seems a little too perfect to me. A lot of media outlets are speculating whether this is a scam Hilton might be participating in to put her name back in headlines. Time will tell, but the point is that she has Herpes and gets f***ed in the butt for coke.

By the way, the picture of Hilton up there is a screenshot from one of the videos. And yes, she's smoking a tampon. I feel dirty for having posted this entry. Have a great day.

It's that time again... Oscar predictions

I'll be honest: I haven't seen many of the nominated movies this year. In fact, I haven't seen most of them. That said, I know plenty about each nominated movie or actor, and have tracked each film's box office and critical success. I might be winging it in some places, but that's half the fun anyway. So, here we go:

BEST PICTURE
Babel
The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

MY PREFERENCE: Little Miss Sunshine
PREDICTED WINNER: Little Miss Sunshine
WHY: It's a controversial choice for Best Picture because it stands alone in comparison to the other more heavy and political movies in the category; I think that will work in its favor. Little Miss Sunshine is both hilarious and dramatic, with enough substance to make it deserving of this prize. Sure, Babel took home the Golden Globe and The Departed is a first-rate crime drama, but do either of those star the little girl who keeps asking for cups of water in Signs? Exaaactly.

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BEST ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

MY PREFERENCE: Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
PREDICTED WINNER: Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland
WHY: Like last year's winner in this category (Philip Seymour Hoffman) did in Capote, Forest Whitaker plays a well-known public figure and completely inhabits the role in The Last King of Scotland. Watch a preview for this movie and you're already kind of terrified of him. I'd like to see DiCaprio take home the award because he's been excellent in every movie he's made for the past 4 years -- and he picks projects well. But the acclaim Whitaker is receiving is monstrous, so he's pretty much a sure thing to win.

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BEST ACTRESS

Penélope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet, Little Children

MY PREFERENCE: Helen Mirren, The Queen
PREDICTED WINNER: Helen Mirren, The Queen
WHY: Mirren will take home this award because she played a living royal, and she did it well. Lots of women have played queens and other heads of state, but this movie is current with its focus on the days following Princess Diana's death. It's a subject many worldwide feel passionately about and a performance people are calling eerie in its precision.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children
Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

MY PREFERENCE: Mark Wahlberg, The Departed
PREDICTED WINNER: Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
WHY: I'd like to see Wahlberg win because the guy's a great actor whose career has yet to take off the way it deserves to. An Oscar would make sure he never has to make another Invincible. This category, however, is all about Eddie Murphy. It's a comeback story and you know how Hollywood loves those.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Adriana Barraza, Babel
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

MY PREFERENCE: Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
PREDICTED WINNER: Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
WHY: I'm taking into account the Dreamgirls backlash when I predict 10-year-old Breslin will beat frontrunner Jennifer Hudson. We've already seen the Academy snub Dreamgirls in the Best Picture category, and I think that trend will continue when someone other than Jennifer Hudson takes home the Best Supporting Actress statue. The Babel women cancel each other out if you ask me, and Cate Blanchett is not the star performance in Notes on a Scandal. Call me crazy, but I think Abigail Breslin's taking this one home.

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BEST DIRECTOR

Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima
Stephen Frears, The Queen
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Babel
Paul Greengrass, United 93
Martin Scorsese, The Departed

MY PREFERENCE: Paul Greengrass, United 93
PREDICTED WINNER: Martin Scorcese, The Departed
WHY: If this isn't Martin Scorcese's year -- which, by most accounts, it is -- it will be Paul Greengrass's. United 93 has garnered so much goodwill from the American public for its straightforward and gutwrenching portrayal of the events of 9/11. He deserves the award for telling a story many people thought they didn't want to hear again, and doing it with painstaking accuracy and utmost respect for the victims. I believe Martin Scorsese will win the award though -- not because The Departed was the best directed film of the year, but because people want to see the guy win.

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BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Babel
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
Pan's Labyrinth
The Queen

MY PREFERENCE: Pan's Labyrinth
PREDICTED WINNER: Babel
WHY: Pan's Labyrinth is definitely the most imaginative of the nominated movies, but Babel has to take home something. Doesn't it? To its benefit, Babel is another of those movies with separate characters living separate lives that end up bumping up against eachother (like Crash). Oscar voters love that.

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BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Children of Men
The Departed
Little Children
Notes on a Scandal

MY PREFERENCE: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
PREDICTED WINNER: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
WHY: This category is the biggest mystery to me. Borat should win something at the Oscars for being what many believe to be the most funny movie ever made, but I'm not so sure it should be the original screenplay award. After all, the movie's best moments had to have been unscripted (i.e. the naked hotel room fight and the high society dinner party). But I'm taking a leap of faith here and guessing that Borat will win because voters will want to see Sacha Baron Cohen take the Oscar stage.

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