Could Samuel L. Jackson be any cooler?

If he wasn't already the coolest person in Hollywood, this news from Total Film might seal the deal.

Samuel L. Jackson recently admitted that he signed on to star in an upcoming movie Snakes on a Plane without reading the script first. He said the name of the movie just sounded so cool.

"I just saw the title Snakes on a Plane and said 'Okay, good. I'm there,'" Jackson said. "You have got to love that title, that's exactly what it is -- 500 poisonous snakes released on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles ... It's fun!"

Total Film also did the math and found out that since his role in 1994's Pulp Fiction, Jackson has starred in an average of one movie every 90 days.

What a bad ass!

Oscar predictions

BEST PICTURE
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Crash
Good Night, and Good Luck
Munich

MY PREFERENCE: Crash
PREDICTED WINNER: Crash
WHY: I think a lot of people are expecting Brokeback to continue to dominate, but I think Oscar-voters are as tired of hearing about it as we are. Of the other choices in the category, only Crash has been building in popularity and acclaim these past few weeks. Also, remember that last year Million Dollar Baby beat out The Aviator, a film people thought was sure to win the big prize.

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BEST ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow
Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line
David Strathairn, Good Night, and Good Luck

MY PREFERENCE: Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow
PREDICTED WINNER: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
WHY: Hoffman is the frontrunner and rightfully so, but I still think it would be nice to see Terrence Howard get the award for playing a pimp-turned-rapper. If anyone's going to win an award for playing such a role, it should probably be Howard for Hustle & Flow.

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BEST ACTRESS
Judi Dench, Mrs. Henderson Presents
Felicity Huffman, Transamerica
Keira Knightley, Pride & Prejudice
Charlize Theron, North Country
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line

MY PREFERENCE: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
PREDICTED WINNER: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
WHY: Dench, Knightley and Theron are already winners for receiving nominations. The race -- and it doesn't seem like it's even a close one -- is between Huffman and Witherspoon. I'd like to see Witherspoon go home with the award, and if her lucky streak continues, she will.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
George Clooney, Syriana
Matt Dillon, Crash
Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man
Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain
William Hurt, A History of Violence

MY PREFERENCE: Matt Dillon, Crash
PREDICTED WINNER: George Clooney, Syriana
WHY: Giamatti was overlooked last year for Sideways, but he won't win for Cinderella Man because the movie never really connected with a large audience. Gyllenhaal's movie has received tons of support and award season buzz but rarely is he singled out as particularly noteworthy. William Hurt's role in A History of Violence is too small to overshadow other nominees like Clooney and Dillon. These two men (Clooney and Dillon) are the frontrunners and it will be interesting to see which way the Academy sways. My guess is that they will honor Clooney here just so he doesn't go home empty handed (because he will lose the Best Director and Best Original Screenplay awards). Dillon, who was excellent in Crash, deserves to win.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, Junebug
Catherine Keener, Capote
Frances McDormand, North Country
Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain

MY PREFERENCE: Catherine Keener, Capote
PREDICTED WINNER: Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
WHY: This category is pretty up in the air. Michelle Williams and Amy Adams actually tied at the Golden Globes, but Rachel Weisz won at the SAG and BAFTA awards. I prefer Keener's deceivingly simple and understated performance in Capote, but I think that Weisz will take it home.

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BEST DIRECTOR
Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Bennett Miller, Capote
Paul Haggis, Crash
George Clooney, Good Night, and Good Luck
Steven Spielberg, Munich

MY PREFERENCE: Paul Haggis, Crash
PREDICTED WINNER: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
WHY: It is unsual for a film to win Best Picture and not win the Best Director prize, but it has happened before and I think it will happen again this year. Crash will win Best Picture but Ang Lee, who has won the directing prize at every major award show so far, will win Best Director.

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BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Paul Haggis & Bobby Moresco, Crash
George Clooney & Grant Heslov, Good Night, and Good Luck
Woody Allen, Match Point
Noah Baumbach, The Squid and the Whale
Stephen Gaghan, Syriana

MY PREFERENCE: Paul Haggis & Bobby Moresco, Crash
PREDICTED WINNER: Paul Haggis & Bobby Moresco, Crash
WHY: Crash should walk away with this award for managing to make a powerful and provocative movie out of more than eight intertwining subplots. Of the other films in the category, Good Night, and Good Luck and Syriana do have a chance to win. Unlikely though. This one's for Crash.

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BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, Brokeback Mountain
Dan Futterman, Capote
Jeffrey Caine, The Constant Gardener
Josh Olson, A History of Violence
Tony Kushner and Eric Roth, Munich

MY PREFERENCE: Dan Futterman, Capote
PREDICTED WINNER: Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, Brokeback Mountain
WHY: Apparently Brokeback was adapted from a short story, which makes it pretty much unstoppable in this category.

Not too sure about this one, Oscar...

EW.com just posted what the 2006 Oscar stage will look like, and here it is. The show's supposed to have an Old Hollywood theme this year but I think they've taken it too far. It looks like Siegfried and Roy, or possibly the kind people at Carnival Cruise Ships, designed this stage. Here's hoping Jon Stewart, the night's host, makes fun of it.

Trump berates Martha; hilarity ensues

Donald Trump has some fighting words for Martha Stewart. He's upset that she won't take the blame for her Apprentice spin-off's failure. And he blames her for his show's lower ratings.

Get a load of the nasty letter he sent her. Here are some of its key points:

• "Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything a show needs for success."
• "I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it -- and your low ratings bore me out."
• "Between your daughter, with her one-word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance -- much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records."

A little context for this next one: Stewart says that Trump's Apprentice was supposed to cease filming and end completely, ushering in hers. She was actually going to say "You're fired" to him on her Apprentice's premiere episode. Stewart blames Trump's decision to stay on the air for her show's failure.

Now, check out his low blow:

• "Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone."

Up to this point his letter had been mean-spirited, but that last "ImClone" bit catapulted it into EVIL (and awesome) territory.

Can't wait to hear how Stewart takes all this. I say it's time she uses her steely, ice-cold persona to battle the Donald. Hey, she could make fun of his hair -- everyone loves that!

Aaaaaand if all else fails, SHANK HIM STEWART! (What, you thought I'd make it to the end of this without a prison joke?)

What the F, Cheney?!

This week in holy-shit-you've-got-to-be-kidding-me news...

I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't mention that Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 78-year-old man while hunting. I mean, it's so outrageous and unbelievable that surely it falls under the mainstream pop culture umbrella.

I take it you've all heard the story but trust me, there's a lot of false information out there. So let me (accurately) run you through what happened that fateful February afternoon:

Vice President Cheney and the boys were out hunting. Among the group was a 78-year-old lawyer. Said lawyer shot himself a quail and set off in its direction to retrieve said quail. Then Cheney was all, "Hey that was my quail. You totally saw me aiming for that quail!" and the 78-year-old was all, "I'm 78 years old! What are you going to do? Shoot me?!"

SO DICK SHOT HIM. IN THE FACE. What the F, Cheney?!

I'm n luv wit a stripper

One of the perks of having access to Chicago radio stations is that I'm normally up to date with, if not ahead of, the music scene. Sometimes weeks before a song is popular on MTV, BET or VH1, it's on the city's radio air waves. So when I head back to the Chicago area, I'm always eager to hear what's playing on the four or five top stations.

Now, imagine my excitement when I happened upon a little gem called "I'm N Luv (Wit A Stripper)," a song that has quickly become my (new) anthem. Enjoy the lyrics and see the picture on the right:

[Intro]
God damn lil mama
U know U thick as hell, U know what I'm sayin
Matter fact
After the club U know what I'm talkin bout
Me and my niggas gon be together, U know what I'm sayin
I aint gon worry bout them really though
I'm just lookin at U
Yea, U know
U got them big ass hips, god damn!

[Verse 1]
Got the body of a goddess
Got eyes butter pecan brown, I see you girl
Droppin low
She comin down from the ceiling
To tha flo
Yea she know what she doin
Yea yea yea
She doin that right thang
Yea yea yea yea-eah
I need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang
Cause I'm n luv wit a stripper

[Chorus x2]

She poppin, she rollin, she rollin
She climbin that pole and
I'm n luv wit a stripper
She trippin, she playin, she playin
I'm not goin nowhere girl, I'm stayin
Im n luv wit a stripper

[Verse 2]
Out of all the girls, she be the hottest
Likin the way she break it down, I see U girl
Spinnin wide
And she lookin at me
Right in my eyes
Yea she got my attention
Yea yea yea
Did I forget to mention
I need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang
Cause I'm n luv wit a stripper

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 3]
She can pop it, she can lock it
Teddy Penderass down, I'm bout to see this sexy girl
In my bed
She don't know what she is doin
To my head
Yea she turnin tricks on me
Yea yea yea
She don't even know me
Yea yea yea-eah
I'd have got her over to my crib to do that night thing
Cause I'm n luv wit a stripper

[Chorus x4]

How perfect is that? It makes me think of all the struggling songwriters out there who just can't seem to write that "perfect song." And then along comes this guy, who tells it like it is with a simple but perfect ode to his stripper love interest. I'm surprised no one came up with this idea sooner, because honestly who isn't in love with a stripper? I'm happy for this guy and hope he enjoys many a free lap-dance. Things like this make me love America.

(Oh, and about the picture: I consulted a friend who agreed that since she could wear that on the ABC network at 7 p.m. on a weekday, she could wear it here. Consider it a ratings stunt.)

Why Lost was made for TiVo

I think Lost is a show that will forever define our generation, at least in terms of the way we watch TV. It tells the types of stories that demand our attention and extreme focus. And while it works on the level of sheer entertainment for most, it also proposes a sort of mental challenge to viewers who are willing to accept it. In short, it's interactive in a way that television never used to be.

It's the type of show that seems tailor-made for TiVo.

I say this because a single viewing of the one-hour drama races by so quickly that we can't possibly absorb all that the writers leave for us to absorb. On the surface, you have the amazing visuals. I mean, they're in the jungle and on beaches for the majority of the show (except, of course, for the flashback sequences). And then you have the general storylines that play out like mini-movies, revealing just a little bit more about the island and its inhabitants week after week. On a deeper level, you have the big mystery: Why are these plane crash survivors on this island? Who's really in control of this entire thing?

And then there are the clues.

The creative minds behind Lost are masters at making the viewers feel like they're in the hands of people who know what they're doing. The viewers believe the writers have the mystery figured out (even if they really don't and are just making it up as they go along) and that creates an aura of intrigue. We want to figure the damn thing out.

Take last week's episode, for example. Two clues as to the island's purpose and the whole show's premise were hidden in plain sight. Granted, these might have been placed to mislead us but they were there and they're worth noting. By the way, I've looked around and I'm not the only one who noticed these things. Here they are:

1. Hurley is seen on the beach reading a manuscript he found in someone's (who did not survive the plane crash) luggage. It is called "The Bad Twin" by Gary Troup. Rearrange the letters in that (made-up) author's name and you get P-U-R-G-A-T-O-R-Y. People have long been speculating that the island the Losties landed on is, in fact, purgatory (that creepy middle-ground between heaven and hell, according to the Bible). The creators of the show have actually denied that theory but with a clue like this, it's hard to know what to think.

2. Another scene shows Locke rearranging books in the underground hatch discovered in Lost's first season. The camera lingers on him while he's holding a copy of The Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge. Ever heard of it? Well, it's the story of a man who is sentenced to a hanging at Owl Creek Bridge. When the hanging happens, the rope breaks and the man escapes. The bulk of the novel deals with the man being on the run and with his journey home. Toward the end of the novel, the man feels a sharp pain in his neck. You learn that the man never actually escaped, but rather imagined escaping and running home in the very few seconds before the actual hanging. The sharp pain he feels is, of course, the noose breaking his neck.

What's Lost telling us by planting these tidbits? Is life on the island as the Losties know it all a figment of their imaginations, or one character's imagination? Is there really no island? The only certainty is that Lost is not as simple as it may seem on the surface. We're not on Gilligan's Island; there are far weirder, possibly supernatural things going on here.

But like I said, these are the types of things that make Lost a new breed of TV show -- a type that not only demands our focus and intelligence but also asks that we actively participate in its mystery to get the full experience. So, as you can imagine, it's reassuring to know I can pause, rewind and rewatch. Get yourselves a TiVo DVR and watch yourselves some Lost.

Kanye's performance plagiarism

Kanye West has made a habit of sampling other artists' music, each time garnering himself a new hit song. He's got "Gold Digger," which features a sample of Ray Charles' "I Got A Woman" and there's also "Diamonds from Sierra Leone," which sampled Shirley Bassey's 1971 hit "Diamonds are Forever." These were both great songs and that's all well and good.

But if nothing else, West has always prided himself on having a unique star persona and stage show. That's why it was pretty shocking to see him take the stage at the Grammy's Wednesday with a performance that completely ripped off his fellow nominee, Gwen Stefani.

vs.

You might have caught her music video (pictured above) or you might just know that she'd been performing her mega-hit "Hollaback Girl" all over the place since summer 2005 in full marching band garb with a full marching band behind her. She did it on SNL, she did it on MTV and other places too. It was clever and fitting because the song had a schoolyard feel to it.

So when West and Jamie Foxx performed "Gold Digger" at the Grammy's wearing marching band uniforms (and accompanied by marching bands), I had to wonder what made West steal her idea.

Maybe he saw that it worked for Stefani, or maybe he just didn't know he was committing performance plagiarism. But I, for one, wanted the cameras to pan over to Stefani's seat during West and Foxx's performance because honestly, anybody who's walked past a TV in the past few months was thinking the same thing.

You could argue that maybe the marching band thing isn't that original of an idea to begin with, or that I'm just trying to knock Kanye West down a peg. Well you'd be right on both counts, but especially the latter because there's only so much Kanye-cockiness I can take. The truth is, the conceited attitude is what turns Grammy voters and even fans off. I'm willing to be a bit more patient with it.

I have both of his CDs in my iPod and I think "Spaceship" is quite possibly my anthem. I just wish he'd tone down the cocky a tad and that he would've rocked the '06 Grammy's in a completely new way -- one that hadn't been done before.

Spears: It is what it is, I guess

Much fuss has been made lately about Britney Spears driving her SUV with her four-month-old son in her lap. Obviously, the baby should've been secured into the car seat in the back seat. But nope, he was up front chilling on hot mama's lap. Awesome.

This girl/woman can't catch a break. She's made some pretty sketchy life choices lately and it seems like she'll have to do something extraordinary if she wants to amount to more than just a Feder-punch line. (You see what I did there? I took the last name Federline and combined it with punch line. Shit, I guess it's not funny if you have to explain it.) If Letterman, Conan and the writers at SNL have been waiting for more Britney Spears material, then she just gave them at least a month's worth.

I was surprised to hear she responded to any of this because it seemed like the type of thing handlers would tell her to "wait out" until it blew over. But instead of keeping a low profile, she came out and said the paparazzi were so aggressive that she acted on instinct. Well I'm no expert but I think your instincts should have told you that a bunch of middle aged men with cameras weren't going to put your baby's life in danger -- but driving with the baby on your lap would.

"I made a mistake and so it is what it is, I guess," Spears said to Access Hollywood.

Overall, I think it was a lapse of judgment -- a young mother's mistake. A lot of press outlets are giving this more attention than it probably deserves. Don't get me wrong though, I'm still totally against driving with an infant on your lap. But I don't think that what Spears did is anywhere near as bad as, well, this: