Who wouldn't want this in their living room?

I assume many of you have already seen this, but if not, brace yourselves. It's a sculpture some artist made commemorating the birth of Britney Spears's first child, Sean Preston. (Thanks to B-Go for reminding me this is most definitely pop culture news.)

In terms of historical significance, this ranks somewhere between the moon landing and the third season premiere of The Simple Life (I'll let you guys decide where) so we here at BTS are glad to share it. Feast your eyes (photo from Defamer):

You know, I can't find a rear view of the statue but - rest assured - she is anatomically correct. Apparently, the Spears scultpure depicts Sean Preston's head crowning - that is, poking out of her [!@#$%].

You heard me. It's important to note that (1) Spears delivered her son via C-section and not in the manner depicted, (2) no one gives birth kneeling doggy-style and (3) she's crouching on a bear-skin rug (WTF). The statue's entitled "Monument To Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston."

[!@#$%] . . . Enjoy your lunch!

VMAs are heading home

The higher-ups at MTV have finally decided to stop experimenting with exotic locations for the Video Music Awards. EW.com just announced that the 2006 VMAs will be held in good ol' New York City. I'm 100% behind the decision to go back to NYC for, let's say, three reasons:

1. Remember Diddy hosting last year's show in Miami? Oh, you don't? Weird.

2. Remember 2004's host-less show also held in Miami? No? Really? Wow.

3. Remember the last time the show was held in NYC, when Madonna and Britney made out? Exactly.

Welcome home, VMAs!


Please excuse my blatantly pointless usage of the above photo.

R for Restricted... and they mean it

Saturday night was brother-sister bonding night for Laura, my 21-year-old sister who lives in Macomb, and me. Ever the manipulative brother, I only made it seem like she had a choice of movie we might see. I was actually hell-bent on seeing V for Vendetta, and I knew I'd get my way. So after a solid dinner at Woodfield Mall's very own Rainforest Cafe, we headed over to the local Loew's to catch our 10:30 showing of V.

I was aware the movie was rated R, but I've never had to jump through so many hoops to get into a damn theater! After waiting in a line that rivaled amusement park lines, we finally got to the box-office cashier who demanded IDs from us. We saw this as standard for popular R-rated releases, especially on their opening weekends. But then, we took maybe fifteen steps to the right where another theater crony was waiting to check not only our ticket stubs but our IDs once again. This was pushing it, but what can you do? So we obliged.

After waiting literally ten minutes for Laura to talk on the phone and order a bucket of popcorn, we were finally set to take our seats in the theater. But wait! There was another theater usher guarding the door who - you guessed it! - asked us for IDs and ticket stubs. To say the least, this really worked to build up my excitement for this movie. Could it really be that violent or sexually explicit, etc.?

Side note: While it was slightly annoying, I wasn't really that pissed off that I was being carded. In actuality, I enjoy acting like I'm underage and sneaking in. And like I don't have my license... and then BAM! I whip it out and prove I'm over seventeen, contrary to what my 14-year-old-looking face might suggest. The ushers then withdraw to their dark corners, defeated. It's a killer way to spend a few idle moments. If you're often carded places, I suggest you try this fake-out.

Anyway, I'm won't go into specifics about the movie, but I will say that I really liked it. It's a smart movie the intellectual crowds can enjoy and discuss for hours on end. But, for the brain-dead, it's just as effective because the fight scenes and destructive violence are amazing. It's definitely got a Wachowski Brothers (Matrix) feel to it.

By the way, the movie had trailers for Mission:Impossible III, Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest, and Poseidon attached to it. Other movies too, but these stand out because I predict they will be awesome. Most excited for Pirates, but M:I III is a close second. And while I'd read about Poseidon before, I never found it too compelling until I saw the preview for it Saturday night. Looks killer.

Anyone seen V yet? Which summer blockbuster can you not wait for?

Hey, why all the reruns?

It's happened to you. You get into comfortable clothes, kick back in your favorite chair and flip to your favorite station only to be smacked with a nasty surprise. The TV show you expected to watch is a rerun. Or worse, it's some celebrity wedding special.

I'd always wondered why my favorite shows had to air reruns during the regular season instead of just giving us a new episode each week. For instance, The O.C. leaves the airwaves for an entire month at least once each season. Other hits like Desperate Housewives do the same. The only shows I can think of that don't go off the air for questionable amounts of time at random points during the TV season are American Idol and 24.

I recently found out why.

Lost executive producer Carlton Cuse tells EW.com, "We wish we could run the show in one continuous block. Unfortunately, we can't physically produce more than the 24 hours of the show we produce each season. Those 24 episodes have to spead across the entire 35-week TV season. The network needs originals at key times, like premiere week and during the three sweeps periods."

He also added that in the case of Lost, it is "too valuable to the overall ratings picture of the network to run it out in one block. Therefore, massive repeats."

And as for why American Idol and 24 don't go fall into this category, it's because they start their seasons in January. Since they start so late in the TV season, they can crank out their episodes week after week.

So next time you're greeted with a rerun (or that dreaded celebrity wedding special), know that the producers behind your favorite show are as peeved with the situation as you are. They want to bring you new episodes as often as possible, but alas, ratings and marketing strategies are king.

Virgin tells Janet to lose her love handles

Janet Jackson has been asked, no, ordered, by her record label to lose weight. Her weight has ballooned in the last six months and Virgin Records won't release her new album until she ditches the extra pounds. Sources say the record label is giving her until September to do it.

The New York Post had this information from an insider:

"This new album is supposed to be pretty good, but Virgin feels it can't market it without Janet being back in fighting form, so they have hired a personal trainer for her and put her on a diet. She has to lose at least 20 pounds."

The weight-gain followed her infamous Superbowl scandal, the flop of her album Damita Jo and, of course, her brother's second child molestation trial. Hey, we've all gone through these things. That's no excuse to shovel down food, Janet.

But it's not all negative. Janet's friend came to her defense:

"Janet always gains weight when she's not working - and always loses it in time to promote her albums. Janet always takes care of it when it matters."

Goodbye to Chef's chocolate, salty balls

Isaac Hayes won't be voicing Chef on South Park any longer. He is in the process of terminating his contract with the program because, as a Scientologist, he is morally against the show's religious blasphemy.

Hayes has played a key role on the show since its inception but it is assumed that a recent episode entitled "Trapped in the Closet" really set him off.

The episode poked fun at Scientology's history, practices and famous practitioners. It highlighted the ostensible absurdity of Scientologists' belief in Xenu (an alien life-force that lived millions of years ago) and the way the Church of Scientology makes its members pay money to move up the ranks. Also lampooned were Tom Cruise and John Travolta for, well, being celebrities who practice Scientology. So yes, South Park did make the religion out to look completely ridiculous.

Hayes issued a statement on why he's trying to part with the show:

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins. Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

Honorable words, I guess, but hasn't South Park been making fun of all types of religions since its beginning in 1997. Matt Stone and Trey Parker said they wish him well and will release him from his contract. Stone had this to say:

"In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons and Jews. He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show. To bring the civil rights struggle into this is just a non-sequitur."

My opinion is that if it works for you, it works for you. That said, Scientologists subscribe to some extremely unique beliefs and should expect this the way Pamela Anderson expects boob jokes. The way Jennifer Lopez expects ginormous-ass jokes. And the way Paris Hilton expects STD jokes.

But that's life. We'll miss ya, Chef!

Where the Wild Things Are: The Movie

People my age remember Where the Wild Things Are, a children's book written and illustrated by Maurice Sendak. It tells the story of Max, a young boy with an active imagination. After getting sent to bed early for acting up, he imagines a forest growing in his room. The book's vivid illustrations of Max, who wears a wolf suit, and of the monsters he runs into in his forest-bedroom are pretty unforgettable.

Fans of the book may or may not share my enthusiasm about a Hollywood interpretation of it, but I see good reason to get excited. This book sprang to life in kids' minds with its weird drawings and funny little hero; it definitely has the potential to do so again on the big screen. And the people involved with the movie are top-notch.

The director of the film is Spike Jonze, who directed Being John Malkovich. You probably know him as the guy who directed Fat Boy Slim's "Praise You" video back in 1999. That video included a group of people dancing wildly with red reflector lights attached to their black sweatpants and sweatshirts. Needless to say, he's a interesting person with a quirky vision, so he's probably a fitting choice to make Where the Wild Things Are.

Set to star is Catherine Keener, who will play Max's mom. You know her as the one who finally deflowers Steve Carell's character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin or as Harper Lee in Capote.

The movie will be live-action (not animated) and is rumored to be darker and a bit more adult than the children's book was. Does that mean scarier?

I'll keep you posted.

Ready for the ultimate iPod?

I'd file this under pop culture news:

Apple is preparing to release a brand new iPod that is basically one huge screen (and by huge, I mean 3.5'' wide). The circular touch pad we are all familiar with will now be part of the touch screen. The last iPods released by Apple had video capacities and this new version presumably allows for larger, improved visuals. Apple hasn't publicized any information on when they are releasing this sleek new iPod, but people are guessing late March or April.

Check out this article by Think Secret for more information.

And check out these pics of the new iPod:

As predicted, the Oscar winners are...

BEST PICTURE: Crash (upsetting Brokeback, the frontrunner)
BEST ACTOR: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
BEST ACTRESS: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: George Clooney, Syriana
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
BEST DIRECTOR: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Paul Haggis & Bobby Moresco, Crash
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, Brokeback Mountain

I hate to gloat but I did predict every winner (scroll down for proof), even Crash's upset in the Best Picture category. The winners in other, less popular categories are listed below:

CINEMATOGRAPHY: Memoirs of a Geisha
VISUAL EFFECTS: King Kong
ANIMATED FEATURE: Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION): Six Shooter
SHORT FILM (ANIMATED): The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation
COSTUME DESIGN: Memoirs of a Geisha
MAKE-UP: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT: A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: March of the Penguins
ART DIRECTION: Memoirs of a Geisha
ORIGINAL SCORE: Gustavo Santaolalla, Brokeback Mountain
SOUND MIXING: King Kong
ORIGINAL SONG: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," from Hustle & Flow
SOUND EDITING: King Kong
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: Tsotsi (South Africa)
FILM EDITING: Crash

Show highlights:

• Jon Stewart, in his monologue, told the audience that Bjork could not attend because she "was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her."
• Ben Stiller presented an award wearing a green unitard.
• Will Ferrell and Steve Carell -- Ferrell in red, blotchy face make-up and Carell in eye make-up -- deadpanning their presentation of the Best Make-Up nominees.
• After the award for Best Original Song was presented, Stewart told the audience, "For those of you keeping score at home: Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars. Three Six Mafia -- one."

That's not butterbeer...

For those of you wondering why this picture warrants an entry: That's fifteen-year-old Emma Watson, star of the Harry Potter movies, enjoying an alcoholic beverage.

And yet, there are still those of you out there who believe Harry Potter is for the kids.