Celebrity Madness: Alec Baldwin edition

If Akon manhandling a young fan all over the stage wasn't enough celebrity madness for you, here's even more.

This time, it's a leaked audio clip of Alec Baldwin berating his 12-year-old daughter. It's terrible. And it's very funny too -- until the end when you get the sense Baldwin is threatening to physically hurt her.

Check it out here: Alec Baldwin berates, threatens his daughter

Seriously, you'd think he was verbally abusing an ex-girlfriend or his cleaning lady until he says, "You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old. Or that you're a child."

Craaaaazy. All of that said, Baldwin is one of my favorite actors and is honestly brilliant on NBC's "30 Rock." Check it out Thursdays after "The Office."

Akon LOSES IT... and it's FUNNY

Let's see if I can stop laughing long enough to type this out.

At a concert in Trinidad the other night, Akon tricked a group of young girls into thinking they could win a trip to Africa if they danced with him on stage.

Well, there was no trip to Africa. He just wanted to get dirty.

Watch this video of Akon and a likely bewildered young fan of his. I know you'll probably be scared for her safety and all, but I think it's okay to laugh.

If my baby gets cold and it needs a blanket, it's alright because I have it

I know that I should get off of YouTube and do something with my day. But video clips like this make it damn hard to lead a productive life. That's really all the introduction you need. You're welcome:

The SNL roundup

Is it just me, or was SNL hilarious last Saturday? I know I just posted an SNL clip, but here are two other must-see moments.

The first is a quick segment called "An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson." It's funny because it is probably DEAD ON. Check it out:



The second clip is of Mya Rudolph and host Shia LaBeouf sharing a moment backstage at the show. Rudolph is unhinged and hysterical. I dare you not to laugh:

Slow motion + Imogen Heap = EXCELLENT TELEVISION

If you know me, you know I was a huge fan of Fox's "The O.C." I loved it before it was a phenomenon and stood by it, against the better judgment of others, until the end. Even when the second and third seasons lost their way and started to recycle hackneyed plots, I kept the faith.

There were two things "The O.C." knew how to do extremely well: make good, dramatic use of cool music and deliver a shocking, satisfying season finale.

There was the season 1 montage of sadness set to Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," of course. And the season 3 death of Marissa Cooper (by way of a car accident caused by an angry surfer -- that's so Cal, isn't it?) set to another version of "Hallelujah." And then there was the series finale's view into the future set to yet another emotionally charged and relevant song.

But the one people remember best is the Marissa-shoots-Trey scenario that ended season 2. Set to the music of Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek," this scene was brilliant. The gunshot. The swelling music. The over-the-shoulder I-can't-believe-you-just-shot-me glance. It was guilty pleasure TV at its best.

It was also ripe for parody. Check out SNL's most recent digital short, an homage to how excellent a little slow motion and a little Imogen Heap can make a scene.

The thing about "Grindhouse"

"Grindhouse" was supposed to be huge. What bad could come from the partnering of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez for an in-your-face exercise in exploitation filmmaking? Well, apparently tons of bad -- to the tune of a sorry $11.6 mil debut.

Words like "underperformed" and even "flop" are being used to describe the film's 4th place premiere. "Blades of Glory," "Meet the Robinsons" and the Ice Cube family flick "Are We Done Yet?" comprised the top 3 spots.

So what happened? Here's what I think went wrong:

1. People didn't understand the concept. "Grindhouse" is a double-feature that pays homage to the shitty -- and I mean shitty in terms of plot and production value -- horror movies and car chase films of the 1970s. These films were bad in mostly every technical way but audiences still flocked to dirty, rundown theaters with almost-broken projectors to watch. "Grindhouse" tries to recreate the entire experience for contemporary movie audiences. Three sentences into a description of the film, I've already proven my point that maybe "Grindhouse" asks too much of mainstream movie-goers. Movie geeks and fanboys were already a lock for this movie, but they are not a big enough population to secure a strong opening weekend.

2. The previews and commercials turned people off. If you haven't seen the movie but have caught commercials for it on TV, then you've seen Rose McGowan sporting a machine gun for a leg. It's a ridiculous and, I think, polarizing image. You either saw that and said to yourself, "I am seeing this movie," or "What the f#@k -- No." Other than that machine-gun-for-a-leg image, I'm not so sure the commercials did a good job of explaining the plots of both movies. I can't imagine many female viewers sat in their living rooms saying, "Strippers, zombies, car chases and explosions? I'm there!"

Also, for some reason Robert Rodriguez's "Planet Terror" got the most airtime in commercials for "Grindhouse," which is a shame because it is the less crowd-pleasing of the two movies.* People were bombarded with images of zombies and Rose McGowan's machine gun leg, and saw very little of Tarantino's "Death Proof." Had the previews focused more on "Death Proof" -- which is surprisingly very much a celebration of strong, badass women -- more people might have checked out the film.

3. Easter weekend. I can't pinpoint a "right" time to release a film like "Grindhouse," but I'm pretty sure Easter weekend isn't it. I don't think America or the world at large was in the mood for a 3-hour-long, R-rated exploitation movie.

Personally, I liked "Grindhouse," but I can't say I would ever again sit through "Planet Terror" or the fake previews and advertisements that frame it.

Tarantino's "Death Proof," however, is chock-full of hypnotic dialogue spoken by fleshed out characters. Before anything significant even happens, you're already high on the movie's atmosphere. Every scene of the movie oozes coolness. And you don't have a pulse if you are not shouting and laughing at the final scene.

The Weinstein Co. is already considering releasing "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof" separately in response to the film's disappointing opening weekend. I say do it and make sure to market Tarantino's "Death Proof" as more of a slasher flick with an emphasis on the film's heroines. Seriously, I think women would love this movie.

* I acknowledge that "Planet Terror" is technically the more faithful to concept of grindhouse films. I mean, it's really very bad. It's bad on purpose, though. "Death Proof," on the other hand manages to be just plain good while still honoring the bad films of the grindhouse era.