It's been a while, so let's just get right to it with an open letter to a certain baby-challenged celebrity.B,
Why you gotta make it so easy? Why couldn't you strap Sean P. into his carseat instead of holding him in your lap while driving? Why'd you have to leave your convertible top down and expose yourself to photographers when the baby was falling out of his carseat, which was facing forward instead of backward (I guess that's only a strong suggestion by safety experts, so I'll let you off the hook here), and -- most recently -- why'd you have to be wearing wobbly shoes and almost drop the baby in front of paparazzi?
I guess there is no answer, is there? But I think I know what you're going through. We've all had those streaks of bad luck that seem to never let up. You, it seems, are having a bad couple of years... but no worries. As they say, this too shall pass. And when it's all over, you'll have matured and learned valuable life lessons.
I'm kidding. You'll still be married to a money-hungry bum whose sole claim to fame is that he bamboozled you into paying for all his expenses and having his two latest kids.
We say this cuz we care, B. You were once so very hot and tantalizing. And now you're quite literally a bumbling, baby-fumbling mess.
You should work on that.
Sincerely,
The Staff Here at BTS
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